Small penises have feelings too.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
