haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Someone came in the potted fern
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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