And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize