Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
