YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
