Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
