it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Text me some of your sweat
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
