Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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