it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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