wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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