and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
