p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
