try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize