oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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