The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
