Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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