I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
