i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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