let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
