Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
