Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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