There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
