I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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