So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
