if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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