and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
