Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
