Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
