He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
