a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
