How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
