You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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