I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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