spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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