it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You were trust falling into bushes
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
