he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My dick has a subreddit
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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