Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
