handjob tips. give me some.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize