dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
