So drunk its hurt
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
