I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
