I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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