it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
