To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize