Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
