I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
