dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
