What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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