I wish you could order shots online.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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