I'm lost and stupid without you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
