I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
