the condom got lost in my hair
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
