the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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