I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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