You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
