Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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