I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
