In the future we'll all be gay
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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