Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
