Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
