As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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