if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
