what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
