I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
