You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
