It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
