I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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