i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize