I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
