Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
