I need help removing her.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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